So There I Was...

Nervously rubbing the surface of my cross necklace with my thumb and index finger, I exhaled in and out, mentally preparing to absorb the response which are coming my way.

"You might have to be baptised at another church or else, have to go through another year of RCIA be to baptised in this church."

My heart sank.

I know I am ready for this. I have made preparations and amendments in my life to be ready to be baptised and be a faithful follower of God.

The Sunday classes which I attended during my childhood was like the first step to be in contact with God.

Yes, I know I stopped during my teenage years.

I answered to God's calling to attend RCIA after an extremely low point which I was experiencing in my life. I was lost and felt hopeless. No one could help me then. I had myself to blame.

Bit by bit, I improved myself as a person in various aspects of my personality and character. I know it. My mother knows it. My boyfriend commented it as well.

"Oh. Erm..." Was all that could come out from me.

Mustering every point of strength I had, "Would there be any arrangement being able to be made for my baptism, separately?"

"There are no individual baptism. It is mostly in a group. Unless there are a few of those who could not make it for the Special Mass Baptism as well, but no guarantee. But do not worry first. We have to wait for the new priest to come in then we will discuss with him about your situation."

Ah, the new priest.

"He will look through your attendance and we will talk with him, don't you worry. Most importantly, do pray more. We will also pray for you."

"Thank you."

For some reason, I would not prefer to be baptised in another church. I had bonded with my current church. Baptism is a celebration. How can I share my celebration with anyone in another church when I know absolutely no one?

This is not being anti-social, mind you.

I know we all are God's children when it comes to Christianity.

Take a school's graduation for example.

Graduating in your own school with your friends and lecturers are such a bliss and an unexplainable emotional journey. They are the people whom you had struggled with through projects. They are the people whom you shared the bond with.

They will cheer for you, as people who understands you as a person, a friend.

I believe that I will not have that kind of experience if I graduate with a different faculty, even though I will be getting the same certificate. That immense feeling of achievement will not be there.

All I have to do now is to pray and allow God's will to be done. If I will have to go through another year of RCIA, I will go through it. No matter what it takes, I will persevere till the end.

Given this chance, I do hope whatever struggles you are going through right now in your life, do stay strong and face it. Everything will be fine and good things will come your way, if you have faith and hope. =)